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It All Went Away

by Bystander

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1.
I'll tell you what I see With open arms, I wish you all a dream I wish I knew I'll tell you what I mean With open arms, I wish you all a dream I wish I knew I'll tell you what I see With open arms, I wish it all was true I'd fall for you I'll tell you what I see With open arms, I wish it all was true I'm falling into you I'll tell you what I see With open arms, I wish you all a dream I wish I knew I'll tell you what I see With open arms, I wish it all was true I'd fall for you So help me down I'm falling through So help me down You can fall too So help me down I know you're good at falling too.
2.
Roots undergoing decay They rip and they turn away Attempts at reconstructing myself, Facing material waste How many times can we grow again? With the same state of mind in tact Watching the leaves turn away The sky opens up for them Let the sky open up Blow it all away Upon looking into the laden, apocalyptic sky We see that nothing's really moving again In this eternal rain we've had our faults I could smell the after wash of all the memories Turning over the leaves until they're the same again This time I'm not turning away (turning away) Been broken too many times but I'm not turning away Drain me 'till I'm all the same Just take my hand and we'll escape This time I'm not turning away
3.
Asleep 04:34
I wanted to stay, but you took me away I wanted to stay, but you took me away I wanted to stay, but you kept me waiting Away from, away from me I could tell you if I knew I've been losing sleep over you Wide awake and I miss you I could tell you if I knew I wanted to stay, but you took me away I wanted to stay, but you kept me waiting Away from, away from me I could tell you if I knew I've been losing sleep over you But I hope that you're okay I've been losing sleep again
4.
Well things don't fade just people do. And when I was surrounded by my friends, the loneliness never seemed to fade. We were all dealt a shit hand but all any of us had to do was believe that things would get better and truthfully the reason it didn't is because you all wouldn't let it. I wish this was individually but it comes to a collective whole in the end. Where were you when I needed you. You stayed away in your pretend sleep. Maybe it's too harsh of a thing to say but someday we will laugh at all the memories we made. How must we complain about loneliness? But can't stick around long enough to give each other any sort of hope. I found peace without any of you here. Must I depend on these four walls again. The leave left the trees and you went with them. It was the coldest winter that I ever experienced. Maybe some things are better left unsaid but I'll loose all my teeth in this pillow complied of sheep and bite my tongue out of relief. I miss you all more and more everyday.
5.
Bittersweet 04:33
Losing all of my friends in this home built for two. Losing all my patience a trying to find a clue. Well I'm running out of chances to give you a piece of my mind. I'm running out of chances to give you a piece of my mind an that's fine. Cause in the end I'll never be right, I'll never be right. For all the things that bother me I should've known better. I should've known better. I should. Losing all of my friends in this home built for two. Losing all my patience trying to find a clue. Well say it for me once and I'll pretend it's a dream. Say it for me once, I'll pretend it's a dream. I forget what it means. I forget what it means. I forget what it means. You said you never wanted to see me like this, did you keep your eyes closed? Did you keep your eyes closed? You never loved me anyway.
6.
Left the door unlocked 'Cause no one there will come Something broke the lock I keep your photograph in my wallet We're all running fast, drifting through the fog Something broke the lock So we wait for it, and a scene unfolds Something's come undone, oh Left the door unlocked There's an outside that won't come And everything's undone I keep your photograph in my wallet And we're all running fast Slipping through the fog And all has gone to rest I've always loved you And we're all running fast Slipping through the fog And all has gone away I've always loved you Left the door unlocked There's an outside that won't come Everything's undone All your demons are external Everything's undone No one there will come I've always loved you And we're all spinning fast Slipping through the fog And all has gone away I always loved you Everything's undone No one there will come And we're all running fast Drifting through the fog And all has gone away We're all eternal Never should have bought the gun Now we're shooting stars And all has gone to waste We're all eternal Demons inside of me, at once they'll float away
7.
Tired 03:18
I'm tired of running through my mothers nightmares. I'm tired of being erased in family pictures. Echoes hit the corners of the room, while waiting for the clock to change. Maybe it's time that I go. Maybe it's time I move in. In this heavily coated winter snow. Did you teach me enough to care about the wedding dresses? The ones sold in pawnshops in the vacant buildings of Brooklyn. Did you teach me enough to care about the church? The one that burned down. Now all the bricks are falling out. It's all of my fault. I'm tired of running through my mothers nightmares. I'm tired of being erased in family pictures. I'll never make it to heaven because I made the choice to leave.
8.
Kill yourself and make you stronger Collect the pieces, throw them in the water Wait around 'till you're no longer. God is finally fading and everybody is going to die. Die. // Diaphanous rains shift the flow of the water. A mess of vertigo, where did my mind go? I am not what's taken by the flowing water // God is finally fading and everybody is going to die. Die. A mess of vertigo, where did my mind go? // Wash away what you are, you are no longer. I am not what's taken by the water, by the flowing water I am not what's left behind by the water, by the flowing water I am not what's left behind, collect your wreckage Count your wreckage // God is alone. God is dead. Wallow away in an empty place. The dream is over. The dream is over.
9.
Mouse 01:50
Cold place not getting better What is one to do? Search the cracks of my living room Are you alive too? And I think and I feel, does it have to be this this way? It's a bright sunny day But a garden wilts away Everybody's trying to get you down But you carry your torch high Cold bitch in the end of night As you carry your searchlight Have a drink, try to laugh And cling to those you love It's a bright sunny day But a garden wilts away But a garden wilts away Sunny garden wilts away But a garden wilts away
10.
There are two And I am you We shall hope Away The change in you Dig into me Dig into me Running from me Running away So long, reach out If you're alone, exist Dream your way out If nothing fucking matters Than I'll be shaking in my sleep And if nothing fucking matters Than I'll be shaking in my dreams And if nothing fucking matters Than I'll be shaking in my sleep And if nothing fucking matters Then the thrill was never there Dig into me Dig into me Running from fucking me Running away All alone we shall try (If nothing fucking matters Than I'll be shaking in my sleep And if nothing fucking matters Than I'l be shaking in my dreams And if nothing fucking matters Than I'll be shaking in my sleep And if nothing fucking matters Then the thrill was never there) We shall try

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released October 20, 2017

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Bystander Salem, Massachusetts

watching the world die

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